


RTFW(arnings)

by mlraven



Category: Original Work
Genre: Contains GIFs, Fantasy, Full Moon, Gen, Magic, Multimedia, Nonbinary Character, Potions, Potions Accident, Rants, Witches & Warlocks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-07 15:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16411283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mlraven/pseuds/mlraven
Summary: Hello, this is the magishop help line, have you tried turning it off and on again?





	RTFW(arnings)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Resilur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resilur/gifts).



> Happy Trick or Treat, Resilur!
> 
> I loved your ofic promps :) I hope you like this!

  
**Magishop Workers Forum**

Thread: **Customer Rants** _(locked to: signed-in, Clerks role)_

Page 3874 of 3874

 

Post: **Frinxing voidhead!**

by  CaedmonVii 

on _Sunsword, the 26th of Rowanmoon, 200 ABE (After the Battle of Erroly Wood)_ at _2 AS (After Sunset)_

 

That warlock came back today. Yes, the same one I posted about last week, and the week before, and what feels like every week since I took this toad-cursed job.

He came in to complain about “the disastrous issues with the  Tonic!!” I tried not to immediately assume that he disregarded both the warnings on the bottle, and that I reiterated them when he bought it, but every week that he comes back with the same “problems,” it gets harder to keep calm.

(His _real_ problem, of course, is that he’s one of the old guard and arrogantly believes himself too experienced to require any guidance or instructions.) He also believes that our understanding of gender continuua is “radical, dangerous, and thoroughly unnecessary.” (I got that delightful speech when I told him my pronoun is “they.”)

 

 

 

Nevermind that this concept has been standard since before the Battle of Erroly Wood! Apparently, that’s still a century too new for him to acknowledge its existence. (Personally, I suspect his iTome froze in 100 BBE, and he’s refused to call Grimoire Support since.)

Anyway! This chackhead tried to get me to refund him the six gold pieces he paid for the tonic, WHICH HE USED, because HE WAS TOO VOIDHEADED TO HEED THE WARNINGS!! Who uses a potion that’s 90% wolfsbane at the full moon and is then surprised to wake covered in clumps of fur!?!

He tried to claim the tonic was defective, even though he used it contrary to our explicit instructions!! Frinx that self-obsessed old guard toad-skull!

I had to take several deep breaths before I could reply without biting his head off. I considered a calming potion, but they sit next to the Dragonsteeth Transmogrifiers on the shelf, and I couldn’t be sure I wouldn’t take one of them instead. _Actually_ biting his head off would be so satisfying, but then I’d have to deal with his ghost, so, not worth it. Ugh.

Anyway, I ended up pinging my manager on the charmed mirror system. There’s a reason we have a reputation for being stonefooted wixen who take no shit from customers, and it’s not just because of me.

 

 

Reply to: Frinxing voidhead!

by Sewanb777

on _Sunsword, the 26th of Rowanmoon, 200 ABE (After the Battle of Erroly Wood)_ at _2:36 AS (After Sunset)_

 

What a numbnerved stinkweed! Check your magimailbox for something I whipped up especially for him… 

 

 


End file.
